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*For the record, Mr. Xanthopoulos freely admits that my lookalike has been made to say something that I would never, ever say. And since I can appreciate this distinction, his caveat is a welcome one. However, I have to assume that the artist does not find the real me funny in the slightest, and so must craft a spurious quote in the interest of maintaining the humorous nature of his artistic endeavors. It's okay, Damon. Really, I understand.
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